Apr 20, 2012

Putting Your Nose Out There

I haven't been posting too much lately, mostly because I am in full throttle "fix this house" mode! I have been spackling, sanding, and painting. There is a small bedroom adjacent to ours that I painted Valspar Autumn Fog. Originally, I bought it for the dining room, but it looked gun metal gray- like institutional gray. UGH.So, why would I use it in that room? Well, because our room is black and white, and this room was cream- banged up, dingy, too-yellow cream. I needed something that I could paint this room and the adjacent bathroom with and to tie the two together, as well as look good with the color of the bedroom. That way, a buyer will see that with a little renovation, the two rooms could be turned into a large bath and walk in closet... hehehe, clever huh?

Anyway, I painted the trim white, then the walls this gray. Imagine my surprise when after getting it on the walls, it took on a distinct blue-lavender tone! It looks clean and sharp and SO much better. Why oh why did I wait almost 2.5 years to do this?? Because we're moving, of course! That being said, I will post pictures later, because it is dark here at 0430 and I can't get good photos. (Why am I up so early? That's a whole story in itself).

So, I know you are waiting with baited breath- about the sticking the nose out part. OK, here ya go:

Yes, this really is my pony with a (tender) nose full of porcupine quills, but it is also a metaphor for taking risks. Lately, I find myself waning philosophical about things, and wanting to post about them. But, sticking your nose out means you might get thorns (or quills). I have to tell you, I am getting some weird vibes lately.

Well, let me just put this out there.
1. This is my blog, I'll say what I want.  I post about art, my kids, farm life, and the like.
2. You don't live my life. You don't know how hard these past two years have been. You don't know because you aren't me. The bottom line is- I'm not happy here. I don't want to be here, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that.
3. See previous post about A. Reserve judgement and be kind.
 4. I do the best I can. I am often alone, in a place I'd rather not be. I am juggling daycare, and school, and kids, and farm, and animals, and work, And somewhere in there, I am trying to keep myself sane.
 5. I get perspective every day at work, trust me. I know I am luckier than a lot of people. But it doesn't mean that I don't hurt, that I'm not lonely, that I am not tired of all of this. Sometimes the caretaker needs TLC too.

What you may not realize is that I say gratitude prayers every day. I notice lots of little things in my life, and am grateful for them. I keep a list of htem. I am not all complaining, I just need vent at times. I am human, with a heart that could use some love and friendship too.

So, be brave, and stick your nose out! I am.


Shannon said...

Amen Lee, thanks for putting it out there. I enjoy your blog and reading about your life. I know things are hard at times but you must be beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel and no, it's not a train.
Hang in there, thinking of you often and hoping all is going well.

Thelma said...

I love you just the way you are.....the real deal no sugar coating, nothing phony! Work hard, get that house sold and hurry home!!!!!

Gigi said...

Who is giving you weird vibes?! Yes, sweetie, this is YOUR blog - you post what you want. Keeping you in my thoughts.

susan said...

I am new to your blog. And I feel a connection - so I think I'll stay awhile and follow your posts and check out previous ones.
And, I love your list! Ignore those negative/weird comments - why do people do that?!!
Sending you happy thoughts.