Rest Peacefully, My Girl

I had to put my sweet old cat down today. It was with a very heavy heart. I knew this day was coming, as her kidneys have been failing. But, do we ever really expect on the day it arrives?

We had a good night last night. She sat on my chest and purred. She slept with me, tucked under my arm. But she wasn't feeling well this morning, and I knew the kidney issues had probably raised their ugly head again.

I got Peanut when she was about 4 months old. She had been found as a stray, left outside in the cold in New Hampshire. That was 1993.

She was, I'm told, a typical calico. Fiesty, opinionated, strong willed. She loved to play fetch when she was younger. Loved to stay outside in the spring, sunning in the garden. Loved to chase bugs. Loved string and shoelaces. She didn't meow, as much as chirp. Loved tuna fish and chicken. Loved me, and I loved her right back.

Fast forward, through a divorce, 5 moves, two kids, another cat, and a dog. She had become frail, skinny, unable to keep on weight despite her appetite. A few months ago she had a terrible infection that almost took her from me. But she bounced back pretty well. She was, after all, a hardy, hearty cat from New England.

It was the loving thing to do, to let my sweet girl go. I could have kept her going for another few months, but that would have been for me, not her. Love is not selfish. It does hurt, though.

I buried her out in our orchard, out in the long grass, under the sun. Amidst the birds and the bugs and the butterflies. Rest, sweet girl. I love you.