Oct 13, 2011

Loser

Yes, that's me. Feeling like a loser parent these days... Got a phone call from Adam's kindergarten teacher, who wants to do a RTI (response to intervention) plan on him. Why, you ask?? Because he doesn't know some of his letters (about 6, the end ones like X, Y, Z).  Oh.

OK, so my first thought is- isn't that what kindergarten is for? To teach him letters and numbers and sounds?? Apparently not. He's supposed to already know them.

My second thought is, why didn't I notice it? Am I too consumed with my own time, hobbies, laundry, putting away laundry, stripping beds, vacuuming, bill paying, taking care of the animals, barn work, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, etc.?? Oh yeah, and my job too.

Apparently he can't sing the ABCs right either. You know, the middle part, yeah.... the part that I correct him on when we do sing it. Yes, that part... Now, I thought he could sing it. I didn't realize it was a problem. So, do YOU ask your kids to sing the ABCs to you, so you know if they can??? Me neither. So, I guess I suck as a parent.

So, in addition to being in school all day, we have to school all night. The kids get home at 3:30. I give them a snack and some time to unwind. Now, I've started at 4:30 with computer time on IXL (math))- which I have to do for both. I've started Adam on Starfall too for ABCs. I have to do reading with both kids. And spelling with Jason. And capitol and lower case letters with Adam. And somewhere in there is supper time and dishes.

So, I know this is the job of a parent. I know that some work at home is expected. I guess I've just been clueless. But when do the kids get to be kids? And what responsibility lays with the school? I'm not sure. Tell me what you think.

10 comments:

whitaker imagery said...

Then I guess I am a loser too, since not only does Makayla get Title 1 assistance and has since kindergarten, but Colby (in kindergarten) is now receiving it as well. HE also does not know ALL of his letters or the sounds they all make. So we can be losers together, k?

Love you xoxoxo

Kelly said...

It makes you wonder why the kids spend so much more time with school and homework and our testing grades keep dropping in this country. I was going to offer IXL and Starfall. Both excellent programs. I do think kids need outside time, taking care of animals time and just plain old play time. It seems that they spend so much of their day in "programs" that they just don't have enough time. Soon they will suffer from stress diseases from having their lives so organized. I'm glad you let your kids play. Oh and read to them too. ;)

Sarah said...

I don't know about everyone else, but I think its a little ridiculous that there is a need for intervention for a Kindergarten. He's 5 years old for Pete's sake. Let him be a kid and he will be fine at the end of the year. They will be going over all that anyways - how to write each letter, etc. so he will learn it eventually anyways. You don't suck as a parent, I think the school system is what sucks - expecting that each child will be at the same level as everyone else is ridiculous. Kids grow up so quickly these days, so let him be a kid and love school and not turn it into something he dreads because he is being treated differently or getting special help or an intervention. Those are my thoughts on it anyways.......

Gigi said...

You do not suck as a parent - get that thought out of your head.

Your son will be fine.

Lili said...

You're never a loser if your kids feel loved and grow up happy! Take heart Lee, it was just the bad day you had talking! ~Lili

The Other Side of Me said...

Hey Lee,
First of all Kindergarten is exactly where they learn their letters and numbers. Here the kids had to know all their letters upper and lowercase and count up to 30 in order to progress into 1st grade. They also needed to know 30 site words in 60 seconds. So, the intervention seems a bit early to me.
We currently spend almost an hour every night on homework in the first grade. It is very time consuming, but without the time in they move too fast on things.
Shelby is reading at a 2nd grade level and is doing 3rd grade site words, but that is with doing them every night. We are now getting into math too. I can't believe what they are getting these first graders to do.
My only advice is getting extra help is always a plus and be sure they are very specific about what they think he could be doing better in. Also, get them to give you specific tools to use.
Lastly, he is a boy and boys tend to develop a little slower than the girls in Kindergarten. You can really see that. I would not fret about it too much, but I know here I am putting in lots of time every night with this kid. My parents never spent anytime with us at this early in the game. Things have definitely changed. Good luck with all of it. I am sure he is just fine and STOP beating yourself up over it.
Hugs,
Tam

kandeland said...

I have been thinking the same thoughts lately. And thinking how scarlet's teachers are not going to like me so much because I insist on her living an active, creative, engaged life that doesn't always get around to those 5 thousand extra schools tasks they are supposed to get to in their 3 hours before bedtime! I hear you on it all, but I guess I'm just not feeling guilty! Things are so intense for kids in kindergarten now...what happened to being a kid? We didn't even go full days or read when I was in kindergarten and I turned out pretty good! Well Lee, don't be hard on yourself..there's only so much time in each day, and they do go to school to learn these things for hours. I also think every child is different in the way they learn and the speed at which they learn, so don't sweat kindergarten!
xoxo

CINNIBONBON said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm pretty sure thats where children learn the ABC--in Kinder...what the heck?? I think these days teachers tend to take the easy route and want the parents to do their jobs. Yes, I understand that as parents we have to be involved..but let me tell you its pretty fucking hard. My kiddo would get bombarded with home work in middle school --she couldn't keep up--we as parents couldnt keep up with it either. She spend the all her evenings doing homework..there was not much room for family time. There are just not enough hours in the day let alone time to wind down and let the poor kids relax so that their brain can absorb this shit. Sadly I think the lack of recesss has been a hinderence to kids nowadays.
You boys will balance out with other kids as they get older and get more relaxed with their environment. Dont be too hard on yourself or them and maybe you and hubs can get some help--via a teenager to help them study and relax--giving you some time to enjoy your boys in the evening..that will help them with their well being.

CINNIBONBON said...

PS...I would to come visit you....expect I dont like seafood..Does Maine have cows??hehehe

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