Mar 26, 2008

Still struggling.

I find myself so blessed with a great husband and healthy, adorable children. But sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. Or maybe it is, but I need other things too. I need to be myself. To dig in dirt, read a book, paint and slop and play- uninterrupted.

Uninterrupted. Oh, what a luxury. I think it is hard for my family to understand sometimes. Hard for them to understand that I chose to be a mom, choose to stay at home a lot, choose this life- but that'd I'd like to have down time too. Of course, rationally we know we all need it, but to actually get it is like pulling teeth.

I need it like I need water and food. I need it to stay sane, to keep from screaming at my kids. I need to have it without feeling guilty. Without being told- well, I never had it.

I have ideas bouncing around in my head that I have to get out. I need time to create. It relaxes me on a very deep level. I know many of you out there understand it. Wish you were closer!

Hopefully, today will give me some time. How about you?


The Other Side of Me said...

You said a mouthful, sister! I crave alone time too! I try not to feel too guilty about it. It is relaxing to sit in a space that is just yours to think, create, sew, etc.
The pillow is gorgeous! It would fit in quite nicely in my guestroom that is themed with birds and nests. Awesome job.

Vera said...

All I've been thinking about recently is time!


Awwww girl hang in there! I know exactly what you mean, I was just talking about taking time for oneself the other day... it's of the outmost importance. But I see you know that already!
I have to say that I stopped feeling guilty a LONG time ago. If days and weeks go by and I haven't seen time to be alone and create, then my mood just hits the skids. I need it, I crave it and I must have it. I too have to admit that my family forgets and interprets my time alone, SO many times I've told them "Unless the house is burning down, don't bother me" Heck, it doesn't work. As a matter of fact the kiddo is right here beside, right now, looking over my shoulder, asking, who you are and commenting on your beautiful pillow in your etsy shop. (LOL)...whew.. Maybe we should all arrange that getaway sooner!!! Try and have a great weekend...guilt-free, too ...I might add!!

Sea Angels said...

Hello Lee how are yoy, I see your cushion and love's really pretty, and I also loved your pin cushion on the previous post, you always inspire me, thankyouxx
I hope you have a lovely week
Hugs Lynn xx