Jul 26, 2011

here's the real deal

OK, so you know I had a procedure, right? I have this pesky, HUGE fibroid that likes to sit on my bladder and keep me up all night... so I had a uterine artery embolization. Long story short- needle/catheter in through the groin, into the artery, snake it up, shoot arteries feeding fibroid full of little beads to clot it off and kill it. Voila.

Well, of course I had a complication- bleeding at the groin. Thank God a co-worker was there to hold pressure, while it took the staff TEN minutes to answer the bell. I spend the night (he was going to let me go home). I spend another 12 hours on bedrest. UGH.

Fast forward to the next day, no cramps or pains like I thought I would have, so I go home.
My Dad and brother-in-law came up to take care of me until Saturday. They did great, the kids had a blast.
The cramping started Friday morning, and escalated. I thought Sunday morning I would have go to the hospital for pain control. I got it under control eventually, but the pain meds make me itch. Of course. I am constipated from the narcotics. Of course. And for someone with irritable bowel to begin with- not pretty.

I am tired and weary and sporting a fever. Feeling like I have the flu (which is expected). Feeling crappy. Now let me just say that I chose to have this done. The symptoms are getting pretty bad, and it will take 3-6 months for the fibroid to shrink to it's final size. I chose this, because I cannot wait until the end of October when Chris gets done school. Oh LORD, what was I thinking?? I was thinking that I'd rather do this than have a hysterectomy. I do not have time for that.

What hurts me is the complete lack of help from people that I thought were my friends. Maybe that's telling me something, I don't know. I am a nurse at heart, a very loyal friend, and I would offer to bring you meals, take the kids, whatever... so where are my friends? Hmmmm. Just something to think about.

My question to you- do you go our of your way to help those you love? What about friends? Casual acquaintances? Do you think outside the box? Do you ask yourself "am I giving enough?" Do I "do" for others? I think it's very easy to get "stuck" inside our own lives. But let me tell you, there are those of us out here who could use some kindness. Really.

Jul 23, 2011

Achy Breaky Heart

Whew- it's been a scorcher here in Maine. It's hit 96, with who-knows how much humidity. I know that's not as hot as some places, but understand, it does not normally get so hot here. No one has central AC, maybe some window units....

Anyway, I had a little procedure this week, so my dad, brother-in-law and two nephews came up to keep me and the kids company. I'm OK, crampy and sore, so let's just say fibroids stink, shall we?

I ma unbelievably grateful they were here. I miss them so much, especially my dad. He loves me and the kids, loves to spoil them rotten and order me to go lay down!

All of my yard work got down, some branches trimmed, and an old tree taken down this week. I am THANKFUL!!

The boys played and played with their cousins. Played until exhausted type of playing- gotta love it. Every day was spent at the pond, and in the barn. They giggled and laughed. Hardly any fighting.

We are blessed.

As I layed in bed this morning, around 0400, I listened to the birds while waiting to hear my brother-in-law and dad wake up to leave. Both kids were sleeping with me in my room, cool for the first time in days (I put the still-unpainted doors back up and put on the AC). I said a prayer of gratitude for my sweet boys. For the wonderful family I have. For this week with my dad. (And for the AC, I'm not going to kid you.)

I was sad to see them leave. It make me homesick. And I expect some tears from the boys today when they realize Pop Pop and the cousins are gone. But, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

hugs, Lee

Jul 15, 2011

Where Oh Where Art Thou?

Seems my readership is down. No one is stopping by. Wonder why?

Am I boring you? Do I need to write about something else?

Welllllllllllllll, let me see.

Summer is in full swing here. I have tomatoes planted, and some broccoli. But that's about it. Hubby and I wanted to do a big garden this year, but as I'm here mostly by myself, I put the kabash on it.

This when I first planted.

Yes, this is right by the house. My BIL asked me why, with 12 acres, would I plant it there. Easy answer: 1. that's where the water is, and 2. why would I want to walk all over when this is the perfect spot to watch my plants grow. Duh.

Hubby is in NJ at a school for commercial diving. He has been gone almost 6 weeks, and will be done at the end of October. The first few weekends he came home, but has switchedto every two weeks. It's a 9 hour drive, and that's a lot of sore fanny time and gas money for basically a day and half home.
OK, this isn't really what he'll look like in his diving gear. hehehe. This is him in waders at his Dad's in May, putting the dock in.

OF COURSE, it goes without saying, I am glad when he's home, as are the boys. They really miss having Daddy home. Me too. I have become a single mom. I'm taking care of everything. I'm mowing our property (which takes about 4 hours), taking the trash to the dump, doing all of the barn work, PLUS the usual laundry, shopping, cooking and cleaning.

Just between you and me, my shoulders are getting tired of all of the responsibility already. Wow. It's going to be a long 4 months. The hardest part is the constant needs of the boys. There is no down time, no breaks. Plus, I'm swapping daycare twice a week with a friend (thank God or we'd be eating grass for dinner), which means even less free time. Sigh.

I'm hoping the light at the end of the tunnel is a real one and not a train....

Jul 9, 2011

Bedroom Updates

So, I talked to my mom the other day. She asked me if I had painted the bedroom black yet. Well, not exactly....

Why you ask?? Well, because decided to do it properly and started from the top- painting the ceiling first. Ugh. I started with one color of ceiling white, then switched brands to get the one with the pink colorant in it. Let me just say- of course- that they aren't the same color and I had to paint it twice. 

Then, THREE STINKING coats on the walls, including cutting in around 5 doors and two windows, and wainscoting. I mean- seriously- what was I thinking??

Then came the time- do I paint the trim black?  Nope, decided on white- the room is too small with too many doors to not end up dark and choppy.

The doors? They're going to be black.

The wainscoting? I'm undecided. So...
Enter the primer. Yes, this wood must be primed. Two coats of Kilz on FIVE doorframes. (Oh, did I mention I have a 5 gallon bucket of Kilz... yeah, that's how much painting this house needs. And, Kilz is not my fave, BIN is better.)

I have primed one of the windows. Believe it or not, I will totally finish the window before starting the other. Why? It gets light very early in Maine, like 0430-0445. So, you see my conundrum.

So, here's a few before pictures, wall by wall, so you can tell me what you think as far as the folding doors- black or white?

I will post some in-process pictures tomorrow. Stay tuned!!

Jul 6, 2011

Wood and Flowers

It's beautiful out today. It's warm and sunny. The green here is still so bright and fresh- not the dark green that often comes after lots of heat. I grabbed coffee and headed out to the barn. The goats were bawling for breakfast. The chickens bawking to get out- OUT they say!

That's where we should be. Eating breakfast and drinking coffee in the meadows and the orchard.
Perhaps. someday, I'll have a party there. Lights strung, the tub full of ice and drinks.

Lots of laughter in the shadows. Someday.
The wildflowers are in bloom here. Fields and fields of them. I wish I could capture it better on my camera. When I look out, I see a sea of greens and purples. I love the purple weed- kvetch perhaps?

I'm posting some additional pictures of the barn.


Jul 5, 2011

A Stroll Through My Barn

Summer is finally here in Maine. We're actually hitting the 80s. The great thing about living here is that it still goes into the 60s an night = great sleeping!!

We have a large barn- three storeis, 158 feet long. And that's not counting the mikling parlor. It is a money pit. It leans. It needs a new roof. I really have no idea how we'll ever afford to do it. But, if we don't the barn will continue to deteriotate. Hopefully something will come through... maybe a grant. Maybe an act of God.

 Milking parlor to the left, part of the front of the barn.
Back side
Anyway, I'd like to have a barn sale here some day. Can't you just picture it? Furniture and junk and food and clothes and every little thing you can think of.

We have open stalls

 and closed stalls.
The ponies live here, so technically these probably wouldn't work!
We have three stalls like this that are filled with junk, and one is full of old windows.

Apples for picking and goats for petting (ok, not really, the one bites... but you get the picture.)

 This is an old tub up by the orchard. You can see an apple tree in the background.
Chickens to feed.
Two of these- the speckled ones- are roos! darn.

Fields to wander and flowers to pick.

Would you come?